The Jesus Connection

I write this true story with a bit of trepidation because I'm not one to proselytize. In fact, it offends me when it’s done to me, so it’s the last thing I want to do to others. But, that being said, I feel the need to tell this story because it has changed the way I look at the world. It's also changed the way I treat people, including myself.  And, considering it's the holiday season, I feel that it's fitting to write about the dream I had one morning about 25 years ago while living in Santa Monica, California.

I was living alone in a guest house at the time - it was during the month of June.  My life was not the most virtuous in those days - playing in rock bands and partying and drinking more than I should. You could say I was a bit of a lost soul with not much of a spiritual compass. 

My studio guest house had a west facing wall comprised of a row of large windows.  Each was covered with a thin rice blind. In June the fog comes in thick and can be a daily phenomenon (known as June Gloom). So my morning ritual would be to sit up and look at the rice blinds from my bed to see if there was sun light streaming through the window. In my dream I sat up and as I looked at the rice blind I saw the shroud of Jesus, just his face about 4 feet in size. In my dream I said to myself, "Hey, that's Jesus!"  And, as I said it, his face came in clearly and a white beam of light shot out at me from his face!  It totally paralyzed me. I couldn't move. My fists clenched - my jaw locked and my tongue hit the roof of my mouth.  In this vulnerable position you might think I'd be terrified, but there was something about the white light that created a blissful state. I might even say that it felt as though I was being bathed in pure love.  And, in that instant I heard a voice in my ear. It said, "This is just a small sample of the power of God's love."  And, then the white light receded and the image of Jesus faded away. 

At that moment I awakened from my dream and sat up in bed for real.  To say the least, I was totally shocked and amazed at what had just happened!

I just sat there for about a half an hour, tears streaming down my face, going over the dream of Jesus again and again, trying to recapture the feeling, the emotion and the message that was given to me.  "Just a small sample of the power of God's love..."  Before that dream I had doubted that there even was a God.  I had also doubted that Jesus Christ was really a divine being.  But, in an instant my spiritual paradigm shifted and I was somehow transformed!

I didn't party much after that day. There was no drug that could match the bliss that I had felt during that dream and I really didn't feel the need to abuse my body or escape from any sort of reality. 

I'm not going to lie and say that I am totally at peace nowadays.  I have anxieties and stresses just like everyone else.  But now I have someone to go to with them.  It might sound hokey, but Jesus is my guy - he's my connection.   I go to him with my problems and I feel his presence when I am sad or hurting or need healing - or when somebody I love needs prayers.  Sometimes during a meditative state I ask him questions and sometimes I hear his wise voice answering me back. 

Before my dream when I saw 'Jesus' bumper stickers or people on street corners holding up 'Jesus saves' signs I thought they were quite nuts, but now I understand. They just have the 'Jesus Connection'.  It's not a private club.  Anyone can join and make the connection too if they so choose.

I painted this picture of J.C. soon after my dream